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Daughters of Difficult Mothers Who Are Raising Daughters- You Are Heroic: Here’s Why

October 31, 2018 by Katherine Fabrizio

Are you raising a daughter even though you have had a difficult childhood?

When you haven’t had good enough mothering yourself, doing the right thing by your own children is an even harder task than usual. I think you are heroic- watch above understand why:

 

If you would rather read- transcript   I want to give a shout out to moms who are truly heroic in my book and that’s the mom who, despite having a very difficult impaired mother themselves, somehow managed to pull it out and come through as they’re raising a daughter even when their tank is empty.  And that’s what it feels like if you’re not filled up with the good, good enough mother love when you’re raising your own daughter. And she is difficult at times.

New Speaker:                      00:41                       Of course children are difficult and you just don’t have anything to pull on. The mother that pulls the punch that doesn’t throw the criticism back at the daughter and doesn’t climb down to her level. And let’s face it, we all do every once in a while. But for those moms who. for the most part, manage to not do that. I mean, that’s just, that’s just a level of heroism to me.

Speaker 1:                              01:11                       It’s also restorative and healing when mom can do that. But I think we shouldn’t ever underestimate, you know, like the mother who has a difficult or impaired mother herself and has an early preteen tell her, you know, she hates her or that she’s ugly or she’s mad at her because she won’t take her to the mall.

New Speaker:                      01:43                       You know, having been a mom, you know, that just hurts. And if you have in your memory bank, okay, well I gave that to my mom and she didn’t retaliate and went, okay, that’s one thing.

New Speaker:                      01:59                       But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about moms who in the memory bank, think I would never say that to my mother or if they did, you know, say something snippy there was hell to pay. There was a silent treatment, there was, you know, criticism for days,.

New Speaker:                      02:20                       Those moms and then having to withstand their own daughter’s, aggression and hostility coming at them, you know, and they stand in their sovereignty. And I’m not saying that they just roll over and they should give a consequence and they should respond, but not to respond out of vengeance and meanness because there’s always a power differential.

New Speaker:                      02:50                       The developed adult has had most have had the opportunity to get their impulses in check and so…, so those moms who didn’t have those experiences, but yet they still come through. I just have all the admiration and respect for those moms. So more power to you.

When you haven’t had good enough mothering yourself, doing the right thing by your own children is an even harder task than usual Click To Tweet

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Good Daughter Syndrome Issues

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Katherine Fabrizio M.A., L.P.C.

is a Licensed Psychotherapist with 30 years experience and a mother to two grown daughters. She believes healing the mother wound is the single most important thing a woman can do to empower herself and her daughter.

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Reviews

Counseling by Katherine Fabrizio
Counseling by Katherine Fabrizio
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Brisa Silvestre
Brisa Silvestre
19:07 15 Feb 21
I absolutely treasure every single moment I spend in Katherine’s presence. From the very first time we’ve met, I felt very safe and cared for around her calm and nurturing energy. Katherine is truly empathetic and such a generous and thoughtful person. From my perspective, Katherine is one of those really special beings that you encounter once in a lifetime- if you are lucky enough. One of the things that makes being around Katherine so special is- no matter what the subject I was sharing with her, I felt that she was 100% present with me and actually practicing active listening (a skill that only a few possesses). Katherine’s judgment-free and kind approach, guided by her decades of counseling experience and her intuitive intelligence, gave me ease and strength to make choices that would elevate my relationships with my family, my partner, and beyond, while allowing me to process any left over emotional blockages that were obstructing me from healing and deep connection. I’m so grateful to have Katherine in my life, and I greatly appreciate her for inspiring me to continue to grow.
Stephanie Emerson
Stephanie Emerson
21:53 06 Feb 21
I've had the pleasure of knowing Katherine professionally and personally for two years, two very challenging years of my life. And I truly believe that our conversations empowered me to thrive. She has the ability to support you while listening and then by summarizing your words in the most authentic way. We began our relationship in person and were then forced to communicate by phone and through Zoom, her brilliance never dimmed, and I always look forward to connecting with her!
Lisa Canfield
Lisa Canfield
18:51 13 May 20
If you are struggling with "mother issues," or any other issues, i cannot recommend Katherine highly enough. She helped me figure out things about myself that have bothered me for years, that i never understood, that i thought were just part of being "screwed up." I wish I'd found her 10 years sooner, so i could have understood where my pain comes from and be a better mom to my (now adult) kids. if you are thinking about working with Katherine, seriously, don't wait like i did. she understands this because she's lived it herself and she really can help.
Mary Lee
Mary Lee
17:49 18 Jun 15
I've had the privilege of knowing Katherine Fabrizio for over 15 years, and benefiting from her clinical knowledge, compassion, and insight. Katherine creates a safe, comfortable environment for psychotherapy; fostering trust and a willingness to explore issues & feelings. While available to work with all adults, Katherine especially shines in her work with women. Mary M Lee, LCSW
Holly Mills
Holly Mills
18:55 21 May 15
Katherine is a woman unlike any I have ever met. She is so understanding, gracious, and affirming in her interactions with others. In my experience working with Katherine, I've come to value our time together as constructive and motivational. She has a knack for cutting through the chaff getting to the heart of an issue in a way that feels so unobtrusive. Her ability to speak to deeper seeded truths that affect our daily lives in our behavior, relationships, and life experience is beyond insightful - it's almost spooky! It's evident that her time counseling women over the past 20+ years really has given her a clear understanding of the issues facing my generation of daughters. I would recommend her to anyone in need of compassionate counsel during hard times. She is a joy to know!
A Non
A Non
14:31 09 Apr 15
Katherine is everything you want in a therapist: kind, warm, extremely intelligent, understanding, and receptive. She makes connections that you might never have realized. She never pushes her own agenda, and allows you to find your way, and focus on the things you feel are important. More than just listening, Katherine provides insightful feedback. Highly recommend!
Kathleen O'Grady
Kathleen O'Grady
15:36 28 Mar 15
Katherine Fabrizio exudes comfort. To be around her is to be creatively inspired by your own uniqueness, and to learn to accept, love, and even laugh at, your perceived limitations.
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