The Good Daughter Syndrome
You care about your mother. You just don’t understand why it has to be so hard. Whether she’s narcissistic/borderline/addicted or just demanding and critical, there’s constant pressure to be good for Mom. To make Mom look good. To make sure Mom is okay. And you never quite measure up.
That’s what I call the Good Daughter Syndrome.
"I can never make Mom happy. No matter what I do, it's never good enough. I'm never good enough."
As seen in...
Holiday anxiety?
Instead of feeling loved & supported, do you leave family gatherings or meetings with mom feeling bad about yourself?
The thing is, you don’t know exactly what happens to make you feel so bad during a visit. You just know you are dreading it.
Yet, the calendar is full of command performances: Christmas, Hanukkah, Birthdays or simply an overdue visit home to mom. There is no escape. How are you going to survive?
Download my 7 Survival Tips for a Visit with a Difficult Mother
It isn't enough just to say, " Set healthy boundaries." You need to prepare your mindset, to anticipate the pitfalls of a visit with your difficult mother. Prepare so you can not only survive, but thrive. This is the year for a change.
First time here?
I’m glad you stopped by.
Because I understand what you’re going through.
If you’re like a lot of the women I work with in my psychotherapy practice, you’ve been struggling with these feelings for a while…maybe for as long as you can remember. You care about your mother, you want to be there for her, but you find yourself avoiding her calls and dreading visits home. And any time you do talk to her or see her, you remember why.
You end up feeling like you’re not good enough.
You feel resentful one minute and guilty the next. Whether you talk to her every day or haven’t seen her in years, it’s like Mom is always there, weighing in on your life, that little voice in the back of your head reminding you of all your faults and failures. But you don’t know why dealing with your mother is so difficult, or what to do about it. You just know it feels crappy.
I want you to know that I understand. And, even better, I can help.
I’m Katherine Fabrizio, and over more than 30 years of treating women just like you, I’ve learned to understand the “Good Daughter” trap so many of us fall into. I understand the impact a difficult or impaired mother can have on her daughter’s life. I know the damage it can do.
I used everything I’ve learned about dealing with a difficult mother to create a roadmap to help you find your way past the pain, to a happier, healthier, saner life.
So stay right here. We can find the solution together.
Katherine
Articles by
Katherine Fabrizio M.A., Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker
Why Daughters of Difficult Mothers Aren’t Just Complaining About Mom
Are you just complaining about mom? Most adult daughters of difficult mothers I see in psychotherapy are not just complaining about mom. If anything they want to feel love from their mothers. When their mothers are limited or impaired and can’t provide the love and support their daughters need the daughters bear a burden few can […]
Daughters of Difficult Mothers Who Are Raising Daughters- You Are Heroic: Here’s Why
Are you raising a daughter even though you have had a difficult childhood? When you haven’t had good enough mothering yourself, doing the right thing by your own children is an even harder task than usual. I think you are heroic- watch above understand why: If you would rather read- transcript I want to […]
Feeling Like You Have to Choose Between Your Mom And Your Partner? Here’s Why That’s Is Destructive
It’s a terrible choice to have to make. Feeling like you have to choose between your partner and Mom can be gut-wrenching. Your childhood self is programmed to obey and respond to mom. You feel guilty if you don’t choose mom. On the other hand, you know you need to choose your partner to establish […]
Why is mom so difficult?
Whether your mother is just demanding and critical or suffers from narcissistic, borderline or histrionic personality disorder, you may also be suffering – with things like anxiety, depression and relationship issues.
This free guide explains:
- How your mother’s problem presents itself
- Why is mom so difficult?
- Where her issues come from
- How her issues affect you
Understanding is the first step towards freedom, so download your free guide here.
"Katherine Fabrizio... sees. She sees with the eyes of her soul and reflects to the eyes of her client. She does not boast any knowing, instead, she lets her client reveal him/herself in a safe and all-loving space.
...She sees so that others might know. Know the next step to take, know that their feelings are warranted, and know how to heal their wounds.
Few things have the power to postiviely change an entire life. Katherine Fabrizio changed mine."
- B.B.
