Good Daughter Checklist - Is This You?
No matter how hard you work for Mom’s approval, it’s never good enough.
Mom gives you unsolicited advice. She micromanages you and tries to control your life.
Mom is never wrong and never sorry.
Boundaries, what boundaries? You have a hard time setting healthy boundaries with Mom and a harder time sticking to them.
You wish it were different… but you feel responsible for Mom’s happiness.
Mom takes any push back as a rejection of her. Shutting you down she says, something along the lines of, “I was just trying to help. I guess I’m just a horrible mother.”
Mom thinks she knows what is best for you. Always.
Although not explicitly stated, making Mom look good and feel good is your job.
Standing up to Mom is hard for you. You don’t want to rock the boat.
Plagued by self-doubt, you frequently feel guilty and second-guess yourself.
If you see yourself in 7 out of the 10 statements above you are the Good Daughter.
What can you do now?
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Does your Mother judge you and tell you what you should do?
Do you feel like she is always trying to fix or improve you?
Do you wonder if you’ll ever be good enough?
Are you trapped in the role of the Good Daughter?
Still not sure if you are trapped in the role of the Good Daughter?
Take this quiz.
Realizing you have been trapped in the Good Daughter role can be unsettling. It goes straight to the core of who you are and whom you love. I get that.
In my 30 years of counseling women I can tell you, this problem is far more prevalent than you would guess. You are not alone.
The good news is this; Identifying the Good Daughter Syndrome is the first step in turning it around for yourself and making sure you don’t pass it on to your daughter.
Awareness is power.
and Recover From the Good Daughter Syndrome
Help for the daughter of the difficult mother, trapped in the role of the “Good Daughter” become conscious and rise above the limiting messages of guilt, shame and self-doubt. Taught by Katherine Fabrizio M.A., L.P.C.
Hi, I’m Katherine Fabrizio M.A. and I understand you - I have been treating Adult Daughters of Narcissistic/Difficult Mothers, Trapped in the Role of the “Good Daughter” in psychotherapy for over 30 years.
"Katherine Fabrizio... sees. She sees with the eyes of her soul and reflects to the eyes of her client. She does not boast any knowing, instead, she lets her client reveal him/herself in a safe and all-loving space.
...She sees so that others might know. Know the next step to take, know that their feelings are warranted, and know how to heal their wounds.
Few things have the power to postiviely change an entire life. Katherine Fabrizio changed mine."
In my work as a therapist I have noticed-
Daughters in role of the Good daughter want so much to please their Mothers they forget what pleases them.
They become keenly aware of Mom’s moods and work so hard for Mom’s approval… approval that is just out of reach.
If you are one of the “good daughters” you have learned to be good instead of being real. And it is costing you dearly.
You constantly second guess & doubt your decisions. You look to others for approval, and have trouble standing up for yourself.
You seem to attract people who walk all over you. You genuinely don’t know what you deserve.
Whether Mom is Narcissistic, Borderline, Histrionic or simply has the traits of these personality disorders from living in a patriarchal culture, your Mother’s insecurity is running your relationship with her and holding you back from living a full life.
The critical mother in your life, or the one that lives in your head has robbed you of peace of mind and security. Here is a meditation to help you let go of the bad feelings and come home to yourself.
"Katherine is a woman unlike any I have ever met. She has a knack for cuttin through the chaff getting to the heart of an issue in a way that feels so unobtrusive. Her ability to speak to deeper seeded truths that affect our daily lives in our behavior, relationships, and life experience is beyond insightful--it's almost spooky!"
- Holly Mills
It’s time you learned how to:
- Understand Why your Mother Acts the way she does.
- Find your Voice and Stand up to Mom.
- Live from Confident Intention instead of Guilt.
- Save your Romantic Relationships from the insecure programming you learned from your Mother.
Free yourself from this Cycle of Anger, Guilt and Frustration.
For three decades I have helped women like you.
I have dedicated myself to freeing women from internalized disempowering messages they got from their Mothers.
Whether reading my book, "Daughters Rising: Rising Above the Shame, Guilt and Self-Doubt Mothers Pass Down to Daughters", meeting one on one or through my online courses, I have helped 100’s of women rise up, come alive and live beyond their Mother’s limiting messages.
Personally, I walk the walk. I have raised two daughters, and speak regularly with my own Mother.
I have a difficult mother and have been difficult myself. I understand the intense pressure mothers feel to be everything to their children; pressure that hurts mothers and daughters.
I know both sides of the story. After working with experts in the field and deep soul searching, I have learned another way and created a path for you to follow.
"Few people have the wisdom, insight, and sensitivity to change lives through talk therapy, Katherine Fabrizio does. My heart and mind recommend her without reservation.
- Byrne Betz M.A.
Are you tired of fighting the losing battle, working for love and acceptance that never comes?
It is time for you to lay down arms and take up your wings.
At some point, you need to ask yourself, “Am I going to spend a lifetime trying to be heard and seen by someone who can’t see me or hear me?”
“When will it be my turn”?
This won’t get better unless you do something differently.
This is where I can help.
Whether you are a therapist, who works with daughters of Narcissistic/Difficult mothers and you can’t figure out why your clients can’t set healthy boundaries or you are a Good daughter yourself, I have a program that can help you.
Addressing this Good daughter dynamic is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself, your clients and your daughter.