Are you always putting mom’s needs ahead of your own- working for mom’s approval? Have you spent much of your life trying to please mom instead of following your heart? At some point, you need to ask yourself, “Whose life, is it”? Will a lifetime go by before you are ready to stop living for mom and start living for yourself?
Transcript- Many women feel like there is never a good time to set healthy boundaries with mom. They keep putting it off hoping for the right time. Before you know it- decades go by… and patterns and expectations become set in stone- or so it would seem.
Mom hijacks the holidays once again- making it about her needs. Or Mom has weighed in on every parenting, dating, job decision for so long- it gets hard and harder to establish new patterns.
When you spend a lifetime trying to please mom, your voice gets lost and it becomes harder to find it.
Yet, despite their frustration, women in their 20s and 30s, don’t really have an acute sense of time. They assume they have forever. They will get around to living life their way, …someday. Then, in their mid-30s, approaching 40, they start to wish that they had done some of the hard work in setting boundaries with their mother.
Wishing mom will change isn’t a viable plan. And it most certainly isn’t a two-way street. It dawns on women in mid-life they get this one life and it matters how they spend it. “Try to make mom happy, try to please mom, try to get approval from mom; is this a way to spend a lifetime?
Here is the bottom line truth-
If you don’t stand up for yourself and your own needs no one else is going to do it for you. This is the grown-up reality. Being kind and patient waiting for the pay off can be futile- and can waste an entire lifetime. This is a huge revelation for many good daughters.
They wake up to the fact that simply being a good girl is not going to get them what they hoped.
They wait patiently for it to finally be their turn, only to find their turn never comes. The pot at the end of the people-pleasing rainbow is empty and time will eventually run out.
I can’t stress how devastating this is for some daughters. Many have no idea that they were unconsciously waiting to be taken care of until it dawns on them that this is never going to happen until they make it happen. Take it from me. It won’t happen unless you make it happen. You have more power than you know.
Is it too late?
I would like to bring you this personal message. I’m older. I’m 59 myself. I wished that I had set some boundaries early on in my life. When I did, it wasn’t easy but it is worth it.
So here’s what I would say to you- why not do the hard work now while you have your whole life ahead of you?
In most cases, mom will adjust. I want to support other women in doing the hard work of setting boundaries while they still have a lot of life ahead of them. Life can be so much more rewarding when you are working for your own approval instead of working for mom’s approval.
I can tell you three things for sure-
1)It’s never too late
2) It never gets easy.
3)If you are willing to do the work the rewards are many.
Because living for everyone else, even your mother is no way to live.
To find out if you are caught in the trap of the Good Daughter – go here.
Find Your Voice. Raise Awareness. Tweet It Out.Have you spent much of your life trying to please mom instead of following your heart? Click To Tweet When you spend a lifetime trying to please mom, your voice gets lost and it becomes harder to find it. Click To Tweet Try to make mom happy. Try to please mom. Try to get approval from mom. Is this any way to spend a lifetime? Click To Tweet Because living for everyone else, even your mother is no way to live. Click To Tweet
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DO YOU EXPERIENCE THE "GOOD DAUGHTER" SYNDROME?
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