Transformation Assessment

Thank you for booking the Transformation Package. This questionnaire will help me help you with your difficult mother. This is essentially your backstory. And it’s very important. We are going to dive deep and wide, travel back in time, and delve into your psyche in this questionnaire. Please give yourself plenty of time to go through it as it is part of your journey to clarity and change. ( skip any question you have already answered on the application form)

Take a deep breath- here we go.

I imagine your wheels are turning if you see yourself in any of the statements above.
Don’t worry -we will take it slow and give you a chance to tell your story. Let’s begin by finding out where you are currently with your…

Level of Contact

Are you in contact with your mother? If so, is it too much, too little?
If not, are you considering reinitiating contact?

If you are in contact- what would be your ideal level of contact if you are not experiencing it now?

If you are not in contact- how is that for you?

If you are considering reinitiating contact, what is your fear- if any- in doing so?

Now that we have a starting place let’s zero in on how you see your mother.

About Mom

How would you describe your mother? (Below is a list of descriptors to choose from.)

Loving, judgmental, empathetic, controlling, easy going, thoughtful, critical, forgiving, supportive, kind, cruel, harsh, soft, needy, arrogant, humble, steady, unbalanced, easily hurt, mature, immature, other?

How do you think she got this way?

About you- how would you describe yourself – or how would your best friend describe you?

Examples- Loving, judgmental, empathetic, controlling, easy going, thoughtful, critical, forgiving, supportive, kind, cruel, harsh, soft, needy, arrogant, humble, steady, unbalanced, easily hurt, mature, immature, other?

After an encounter with your mother, which best describes how you feel and why? Give your own example of each descriptor you resonate with.

Examples-

Not good enough/ feeling like you just can’t get it right/ low confidence/ low self-esteem

Guilty/ feeling like you are selfish if you put yourself first

Self-doubt/ second guessing yourself or being unable to make a decision

Ashamed/ feeling like something is wrong with you

You and Mom

Taking a developmental history

During your childhood there are pivotal times when daughters make a separation from their mothers- Keeping this in mind, how did they go for you?

Boundary Setting

Finish these sentences-

What would make our Transformation sessions successful?

1) You come away with an understanding of what drives your mother’s hurtful behavior.
2) You have a plan or strategy to deal more effectively with your difficult mother.

a) You have potential scripts- what to say and how to say it to Mom
b) You have help with a mindset shift

3) You have a plan and exercises to heal from the hurtful dynamic with your mother?

4) Other

In what ways would your life be made better if you got a handle on your mother issues?

Examples- More freedom, more self-confidence, less drama, less guilt, more time for yourself, less anxiety, less anger, less resentment

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