The 4 Good Daughter Traps
Why you never feel good enough, can’t stand up to your difficult mother or set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty…and what to do about it
Are you fed up and at your wit’s end with your Mother?
Do you attempt to set a boundary with your difficult mother, but instead cave or back off at the first sign of pushback?
Are you stopped in your tracks by debilitating guilt you don’t fully understand?
Do you find yourself saying, “It’s just not worth it.” every time you try to confront your Mother’s behavior?
You know something is wrong with your relationship with your Mother, but feel powerless to escape the toxicity.
If yes, you may be playing the role of the Good Daughter.
So, how can you break away from your difficult mother?
Most people (including most therapists and every self-help book out there) will tell you to stand up to Mom, set healthy boundaries, and learn to say “no.”
Sounds good, right?
That’s excellent advice! …so why doesn’t it help?
Why can’t you make yourself do what you know you ‘should’ do?
Good Daughters make unconscious agreements (in childhood) that trap them into putting their mother’s needs ahead of their own.
I call these the Good Daughter traps.
Ironically, the Good Daughter strives to be “good” for mom, hoping one day Mom will give her the approval she craves and permission to break away and live her own life. Yet, in doing so, she sinks further and further into the quicksand of her mother’s dysfunction. She has been programmed to make up for Mom’s deficits no matter what it costs her.
If you identify as a Good Daughter, unless you escape these traps, you will remain buried alive underneath your mother’s needs.
You can’t see the traps.
But I can.
What’s more, I know what you are missing.
It isn’t that you lack willpower or intelligence. No, you are only obeying the evolutionary programming designed to keep you alive.
It’s hard, if not impossible, to break the agreements mother nature compelled you to make for your survival, impossible if you don’t know what they are.
Bound by these four agreements, daughters who are programmed to look good for Mom (and make sure Mom is good) are complicit in the very dynamic they are desperate to escape.
If you only knew that YOU have the power to change it.
But, unfortunately, no one has told you this.
But I will.
The first book of its kind, The 4 Good Daughter Traps, reveals these hidden agreements and accompanying false core beliefs that trap daughters of difficult mothers into taking care of Mom and keep daughters from breaking free.
The 4 Good Daughter Traps spell out the formula for breaking out of this dysfunctional disempowering dynamic.
You can now escape from the traps into sovereignty, wholeness, and freedom.
“I wanted to thank you for the manuscript … I read the whole thing in a day and was nodding along the whole time. …Now I feel more deserving of good things, so I make them happen. And it feels really good to be the kind of person and the kind of daughter I’ve always wanted to be.” – S. C.
“It’s like you took everything in my brain and organized it. I’m able to save myself from falling for the same old traps and live my life my way.” -M. S.
“Her ability to speak to deeper seeded truths that affect our daily lives in our behavior, relationships, and life experience is beyond insightful – it’s almost spooky!” -Holly Mills