• Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Daughters Rising

  • About
  • Coaching
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Book
    • Courses
      • Recovery
      • Therapist Training
  • Dealing with a Difficult Mom
  • Take the Quiz

Why Daughters of Difficult Mothers Aren’t Just Complaining About Mom

October 31, 2018 by Katherine Fabrizio

Are you just complaining about mom?

Most adult daughters of difficult mothers I see in psychotherapy are not just complaining about mom. If anything they want to feel love from their mothers. When their mothers are limited or impaired and can’t provide the love and support their daughters need the daughters bear a burden few can understand.

Here is what I have witnessed in my psychotherapy practice ( in the video above).

If you’d rather read- transcript-   You know, after a day of seeing daughters of difficult mothers, I would like to scrap… if I could… once and for all the myth that daughter’s just like to complain about their moms.  It’s not one thing it’s your mom, right? Accompanied by an eye roll. My experience, time after time is that daughters who have difficult narcissistic, histrionic, borderline insecure, addicted moms…, they feel an incredible deep shame.   It’s misplaced, but it’s real because of their mom’s odd behavior, unloving behavior, criticism of them, you know, in psychotherapy they like bring it up, you know, and it stings. It’s not something they’re like, can’t wait to put on facebook or tell the world or label moms this, this and this and this.

New Speaker:                      01:05                       No, they feel a deep shame about….. this is their mom, you know, how could mom who loves me or should love me treat me so badly and the conclusion that they come two more times than not is that because I was unlovable, I didn’t deserve it.

Speaker 1:                              01:33                       And that becomes the problem because when they don’t value themselves, then all of life’s, you know… you name it. And I talk about it all over here, all the things that stem from, from that initial hurt but a child’s pain.

New Speaker:                      01:52                       And when I look into the face of my adult clients, of course, I see the child in them and you know, their eyes lower and they like in a flash, remember something just unbelievable that their mom said or did, and they usually notice it doesn’t happen with their friends.

New Speaker:                      02:17                       Um, but it’s deeply shameful to them. I have not seen really…. been in practice 30 years… women come in and say, you know, my mother is a narcissist and let me tell you, she does this, this, this, and this.

New Speaker:                      02:35                       Maybe that’s happened, but not, none of that is coming to mind right now. So I’d like to bust this myth that, you know, adult daughters just enjoy complaining about their mothers, not when their mothers have serious difficulty and have related to them in ways that sting and hurt.

Are you suffering from the Good Daughter Syndrome? Take the quiz here, it’s free –

Most adult daughters of difficult mothers I see in psychotherapy are not just complaining about mom. If anything they want to feel love from their mothers. Click To Tweet

 

Filed Under: Good Daughter Syndrome Issues

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Good Daughter's Guide to Freedom

5 ways to break free and take back your life

Get my Guide

Katherine Fabrizio M.A., L.P.C.

is a Licensed Psychotherapist with 30 years experience and a mother to two grown daughters. She believes healing the mother wound is the single most important thing a woman can do to empower herself and her daughter.

Read more.

Reviews

Counseling by Katherine Fabrizio
Counseling by Katherine Fabrizio
5.0
powered by Google
Mary Lee
Mary Lee
17:49 18 Jun 15
I've had the privilege of knowing Katherine Fabrizio for over 15 years, and benefiting from her clinical knowledge, compassion, and insight. Katherine creates a safe, comfortable environment for psychotherapy; fostering trust and a willingness to explore issues & feelings. While available to work with all adults, Katherine especially shines in her work with women. Mary M Lee, LCSW
Holly Mills
Holly Mills
18:55 21 May 15
Katherine is a woman unlike any I have ever met. She is so understanding, gracious, and affirming in her interactions with others. In my experience working with Katherine, I've come to value our time together as constructive and motivational. She has a knack for cutting through the chaff getting to the heart of an issue in a way that feels so unobtrusive. Her ability to speak to deeper seeded truths that affect our daily lives in our behavior, relationships, and life experience is beyond insightful - it's almost spooky! It's evident that her time counseling women over the past 20+ years really has given her a clear understanding of the issues facing my generation of daughters. I would recommend her to anyone in need of compassionate counsel during hard times. She is a joy to know!
A Non
A Non
14:31 09 Apr 15
Katherine is everything you want in a therapist: kind, warm, extremely intelligent, understanding, and receptive. She makes connections that you might never have realized. She never pushes her own agenda, and allows you to find your way, and focus on the things you feel are important. More than just listening, Katherine provides insightful feedback. Highly recommend!
Kathleen O'Grady
Kathleen O'Grady
15:36 28 Mar 15
Katherine Fabrizio exudes comfort. To be around her is to be creatively inspired by your own uniqueness, and to learn to accept, love, and even laugh at, your perceived limitations.
See All Reviews

Follow Along

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • The “Good Daughter” Syndrome Course
  • Daughters Rising Book
  • The “Good Daughter” Syndrome Quiz
Angel-Wings-150
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • About Katherine Fabrizio

Copyright © 2021 · Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in