To Heal The Mother Wound You Must Get Out Of Your Head And Into Your Body
( Read to the bottom to access the meditation)
You get off the phone or come home from a visit with your mother and it didn’t go well. The worst thing about it are the feelings she leaves you with. You just can’t shake them. Frustration. Anxiety. Anger. Ultimately you are left feeling sad.(Especially if you are stuck in the role of the “good daughter” ( feeling responsible for mom’s feelings) you suffer a double whammy. What can you do? It isn’t enough to understand what went wrong with your mother/daughter relationship you need to feel differently. Awareness is essential and at the same time, not enough.To heal the mother wound, you must first get in touch with your emotional pain. Then you must have experiences that soothe that pain.
Use this meditation when:
1) You are making changes in your relationship with your actual mother. (You need to address the anxiety you encounter when you are working to make changes. That anxiety can threaten to drive you right back to doing things the same way.)
2) If you have gone “no contact”, the feelings you must endure to keep your resolve can be crippling. Ensure you have supportive practices to help.
3) You want to cool off, get perspective, and think with a rational head. You get off the phone, or have a troubling encounter with mom, and don’t want to act out of emotion.
All these are important reasons to learn self-regulation/ self-soothing methods for yourself.
Why are embodied experiences essential for healing the mother wound? To fully understand- let’s dial back the years for a moment. Perhaps something went wrong in your mother’s ability to access her capacity to soothe and comfort you when you were small. It might have been a personality disorder, addiction or simply stress that prevented mom from mothering you well. Or maybe it was later in teenage-hood that your connection to mom was interrupted by those same forces. (I’ve had many clients who have said their mothers were loving until they hit adolescence and then mom lost all of her loving feelings toward them.)
Others sat anxiously by as mom feel apart, derailing emotionally for one reason or another connected to a mother who was self-absorbed waiting on mom for loving attention that never came. Either way, the reality is you were incorporating your experience of your mother first in the womb and later in her arms, mom was first experienced, felt, taken in and embodied.
Along with her love you took in all of her. Her anxiety. Her anger. Her disapproval.
If you were attuned to mom, you took her in. That means you absorb her moods & anxieties along with her caring. Therefore it makes sense that……. healing from a deficit in mothering must incorporate those embodied felt elements. The incredibly good news is that you can still incorporate these felt elements to heal.
1) Movement can heal and soothe. The rocking motion that mimics the motion in the womb. This is still soothing to the nervous system, as a baby or as an adult. You are wired to be soothed by rhythmic movement. Walking, running/jogging or dancing can be cathartic, empowering and healing.
Even holding yourself and rocking back and forth has proven to reset the psyche from trauma.
2) Soothing sounds can be calming. If you watch and listen to a mother and baby you see/hear that maternal voices are cooing or lilting. Maternal voices rise and fall in pitch. They have a rhythmic cadence. Therefore, brain entrainment meditations (like the free one at the end of this post) can still heal and benefit you as an adult.
You may wonder, if it’s isn’t it too late – You are not as stuck, or limited, by the original experiences you have had with a Difficult Mother as we once thought. The good news is that your brain and your nervous system can still heal and benefit as an adult. A popular saying in neurological circles is “The brain is plastic.” & “What fires together wires together.” You can create experiences that change the structure of the brain. You can learn to shift to self-soothing. While it has been years (or could be never) since you were soothed in this way, your body remembers.
It will respond to-
- soothing rhythms that mimic a mother’s heartbeat
- regulated breathing that massages you from the inside out
- sound frequencies that entrain your brain to experience relaxed states as you listen.
Isn’t that the key – to give to yourself these primal healing experiences that you can access? In doing so, you learn to rely on yourself for feeling good. This is the key to calm, clarity, and the self-confidence you are seeking. Talking alone is rarely enough. You need to dive deep into curative experiences.
Does dealing with your difficult mother cause you anxiety?
Here is a Free meditation I created just for you.
GET YOUR FREE MEDITATION
Does dealing with your difficult mother cause you anxiety? Here is a Free meditation I created just for you
To find out if you are trapped in the Good Daughter role -go here.This is what you need to soothe the anxiety, heal the mother wound and come home to yourself. Click To Tweet To Heal The Mother Wound You Must Get Out Of Your Head And Into Your Body Click To Tweet To heal the mother wound, you must first get in touch with your emotional pain. Then you must have experiences that soothe that pain. Click To Tweet You are not as stuck, or limited, by the original experiences you have had with a Difficult Mother as we once thought. The good news is that your brain and your nervous system can still heal and benefit as an adult. Click To Tweet As we now know, the brain can be rewired when we give it targeted, intentionally corrective experiences. Click To Tweet
Access this meditation and feel the soothing effects immediately.